


Bug-ridden

by polarRabbit



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mutant!Peter, Slow Burnish, Wade has slightly more morals, but he's still Spidey, ratings will change, with some extras
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2018-12-22 13:52:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11968761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polarRabbit/pseuds/polarRabbit
Summary: Wade saves a mutant kid from a Hydra research facility. No big deal aside from the fact that the kid grows up admiring the anti-hero from afar and then wants them to team up. What could possibly go wrong? Famous last words.





	1. Little Spider

**Author's Note:**

> Looks who's starting another Spideypool fic instead of finishing the previous one??  
> Yeah, that's lil old me.

His mission for today was simple. 

Enter the building.

Check.

Get past the security.

Done. (Luckily he didn't have to clean up the mess he left behind.)

Save the mutants.

In Progress...

-

„Hey kid, it's cool. I might not look like it but in this scenario I'm actually The Good Guy™. C'mon let's get you out of this hell hole.“, Wade tried to talk an approximately 13 year old boy into walking out of his cell. The small brunet eyed him warily and yeah admittedly that blood still dripping off the katanas strapped to his back wasn't exactly convincing. He looked way more like a psycho killer than those Hydra agents he'd filleted mere minutes before.

„I will get you cookies? Doritos? Whatever's your poison...“ 

Oh great, now he's probably sounding like a pedo giving off the stranger danger vibes. He should just grab the kid and drag him out of the building but the poor boy had probably already been forced through enough and he didn't know what those mad scientist had done to him. Maybe he could make him combust by direct contact. Wouldn't that be an amazing ability? Well only if you weren't facing someone with an awesome healing factor like himself.

„...can I have pudding?“, came the hesitant question from the other side of the white colored room. Honestly if Wade had to stare at those walls any longer he might go snowblind.

„That's old people food but alright, I'll get you a whole bowl.“, the mercanary agreed with a shrug and took a step back so he wouldn't block the doorway.

With the promised reward on mind the kid seemed to lose some of his caution. Wade noticed only then that the boy's eyes were completely black. Yet by the way he was walking without any aid and looking directly at him he doubted that the child was blind. It only made him look kinda creepy like a tiny demon.

„Are you a doctor? You look strange.“

Wade had to bite back a childish retort along the line of 'YOU look strange' because obviously he's the one with the superior fashion sense here. And fucking mature.

„Nah, I'm more of a problem solver. Are you judging my outfit choices, half-pint?“

„What's a half-pint?“

Geez that kid had more question than quizz duel.

„You'll find out once you've reached drinking age, which will hopefully be many years in the future.“

Guiding the little guy out of his cell Wade told him to close his eyes whenever they passed a mangled corpse. The poor boy would have to walk completely blind at this point so Wade ordered him to keep his eyes shut until they were outside and simply carried him on his back. The small mutant weighted hardly more than a sack of potatoes. They should really get him some high-calorie pudding. Triple chocolate with sprinkles and tiny marshmallows. Great now Wade was getting eager for pudding too.

Demon eyes clung to him like a koala to an eucalyptus tree with more strenght than Wade would have expected with someone with wet noodles for limbs. Super strength was such a lame power, completely overrated because most of the time it still didn't protect you from catching a bullet. At least the kid didn't have to worry about bullies pushing him around. If he pushed back they might turn into pancakes. And back to the food topic we are!

-

After the building was evacuated they gathered the kids in groups, randomly divided. They were supposed to get into minivans then transported Xavier's mutant school. Professor X would have to extend the mansion if all those children were supposed to live there. A few lucky ones might be able to be returned to their families but Wade knew from experience that most mutants had difficult family situations so staying away from them might be the better option after all.

Since his job here was done the mercanary started to stroll away without further notice. This had been charity work to collect some good karma, although it was a lot like a drop of rain to water the desert.

„Mr. Red!“, a high pitched voice called after him, making Wade momentarily halt in his tracks. Usually he wouldn't react to a silly name like this but as far as he's aware he's the only one around here wearing previously mentioned color.

Turning his head, his gaze landed on the little demon from before. Holy breadstick did that dwarf get attached to him over a promise of sweets? He knew he'd been too friendly, that's what you get for playing hero.

„Sorry kid, I ain't Bruce Wayne adopting orphans left and right.“

That comment earned him a confused look. Dammit was he mixing universes again?

„I- I just wanted to say thank you.“, the small brunet uttered quietly.

„Uh you're welcome.“, he replied lamely.

Gratitude wasn't something Wade was used to and his brain needed a moment to wrap around the fact that those words hadn't been sarcastic. Pretty sure you didn't learn that until you've unlocked level 15.

Watching the kid jog back to his group he wondered if their paths would cross again. Not that it mattered, just a thought that was quickly overshadowd by the constant chatting of the boxes.

-

_**3years later** _

-

„You know you still owe me a bowl of pudding.“

Not a greeting, just a statement was all the warning he got before a spandex clad figure dropped down in front of him. It took all of Wade's willpower not to screech in suprise. Quickly shaking of the almost heart attack he went back to his usual composed self and glanced at his netted opponent. Judging by the outfit he was some sort of self-claimed hero or...one of the bad guys, it was really hard to tell nowadays. With a spider on your chest tho you certainly didn't win the hearts of many people. Why not a butterfly instead? Not the most fear striking insect tho...

„Excuse you, I'm not sure we're talking the same language. Is this urban dictionary slang?“

„No...pudding means pudding.“, the what he assumed was a teen chuckled in return.

„That still doesn't explain anything, copycat.“

„Hey, I came up with the design myself! Also my red is like two shades lighter than yours. Don't try to change the subject here.“

„Listen bug boy, I got not time for chit chat, I'm a man on a mission.“

Guns drawn Deadpool pointed the muzzles towards the other's torso. He had a mark to un-alive and this newbie was getting between him and a shitload of money. He didn't actually intend to rain bullets on a wannabe but the guy didn't know that and Wade could look rather intimidating if he wanted to.

„Touchy~“, light Red remarked cheekily but lifted his hands in a surrendering gesture.

„Alright no need to get trigger happy, I'll be on my way...oh and it's Spider-Man!“

„We can talk about the man part once your voice is breaking.“

The last comment elected an offended noise from the spider boy who jumped off the roof facing backwards in a fluent motion. Fucking show-off. Although Wade had to admit it looked sexy the way he curved his back, body tension on point. Maybe the guy was secretly some sort of athlete, he definitely had the physique for it.

Getting his head back in the game Wade leaped down the building to land soundly on a narrow backstreet, his mark hopefully still close by not that he minded a good old game of cat and mouse. The hunt was the fun part of his job, followed by the unloading of ammunition into some dirtbag's body. He'd turn this guy into Swiss cheese and then get himself cheese nachos because it seemed like a fitting way to celebrate.

The cheesy daydreams were cut short at the sight of his target wiggling on the ground, wrapped up like an especially ugly present. Police sirens started wailing close by, nothing that usually concerned him but there's a...neon post-it note sticking on top of the web burrito telling Wade

'Do not kill. Police is on its way. Have a nice day!' with a little spider scribbled on the outer corner. 

Un-be-liev-able! That sneaky little webhead had captured his target and there's no pleasure in killing prey that was already laid out in front of you. Nevertheless Wade gave the man a hard kick in the stomach for good measure. He felt a tiny bet better afterwards but still frustrated. The voices in his head screeched like banshees urging him to hunt down the spider instead. First Wade had to make an exit because as easy as it was for him to escape prison it was always so time consuming and usually left him with a limb missing.

„Don't move!“, he was ordered by a police officer who's aiming his gun at him.

Wade did what every insane person in his stead would do and started running. He had a bug problem to solve.


	2. No Gain Without Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you won't get confused by my ongoing time jumps...  
> I'm trying to focus on the shaping aspects of Peter's past and how he ends up with Wade as his initially reluctant partner. Also I have these headcanons that Peter wasn't just a natural at everything like in the movies but had to work for it some more. Love him but also embrace the suffering!

The first few days at the new facility -or ...mutant school how most adults called it- felt like Peter had exchanged one prison for another. Sure, the cells looked much more cozy and like actual rooms but he's still supervised and had to undergo a series of examinations. The doctor who's name Peter didn't even try to remember assured him that it was only a health check up but the young mutant found that hard to believe. The tools she's using looked just the same as the one at the research lab.

Peter didn't try to fight them although he knew he was capable to defend himself. He answered their questions as best as he could and only started to show signs of resistance when it was time for a blood sampling. At first it was unintentional, his whole body going tense at the sight of the needle. If someone would have measured his pulse they would've been able to see his heart rate pick up drastically but they'd done that already before when his pulse had been normal. 

Unaware of his frantic, shallow breaths Peter only felt how it seemed to get harder and harder to breath like his lungs were halfway filled with liquid. His sixth sense or whatever it was that warned him of immediate danger kicked into overdrive and Peter just wished for test to be over. This wasn't his first injection and is certainly wouldn't be his last but it never failed to give him an anxiety attack.

He remembered the day when he got his the first injection, a syringe filled with cobalt blue liquid that was shot into the crook of his arm. The first step on a long, painful way of turning him into a mutant. What followed afterwards was way worse than the light sting of the needle. It felt like his veins were on fire and they had to secure him with him with cuffs to prevent him from scraping off his skin. Luckily he soon lost his consciousness but once he was awake the pain returned, paired with fever attacks that left him feel like his insides were boiling.

 

„Peter? Peter I need you to breath with me.“, he could hear a clear voice piercing through the haze of his flashback dragging him back into the presence where he'd started to hyperventilate. His nails were digging into his palms, leaving red half-moon-shaped marks but he barely registered the pain.

The only reason why he eventually started to imitate the doctors exaggerated slow breathing pattern was that he couldn't see the syringe anymore and because she assured him the blood sample wasn't that important after all so they'd just skip it.

When the examination was over and he's allowed to return to his room Peter slumped onto the soft mattress, completely exhausted. The nightmare continued, he hadn't been saved after all...and there's no pudding.

-

2 weeks later

-

Opinions could change and so did Peter's regarding the mutant school slash dormitory. As it turned out the facility vastly differed from the one he'd been held before. For once Peter was allowed to go outside and in general wherever he wanted with a few restrictions but those were reasonable. His favorite place was the treetop of an old oak which was located on the green area surrounding the building. The view was mesmerizing and somehow he felt saver when being high up instead of rooted to the ground. 

Hydra's scientist had combined his human DNA with genetic material of a spider. Not a normal one but an arachnid that had been exposed to nuclear radiation. That's what the records said and there might be further details but he hadn't asked for his file, still trying to get some distance between his past and his current situation. Peter somehow doubted that the process could be undone so he rather wanted to learn how to live as a mutant. It didn't seem to be very difficult when being surrounded by other kids, teens and adults who were like him but the small brunet wasn't naive enough to believe that society in general would accept him with open arms.

When he looked into a mirror the first thing he couldn't miss were his eyes. He was lucky not to have eight of them like an actual spider but the pitch black of his sclera that used to be white made him look like a demonic creature. A few of the other's had picked up on calling him 'demon' despite their guardians chiding them. Peter wished he could get glasses like Scott but he wore them for completely other reasons like preventing to cremate his surroundings. Apparently there was hope for getting some sort of contact lenses tho that were supposed to make his eyes appear ordinary. 

The teachers always told them not to be ashamed of being a mutant yet Peter first thought when he was informed that they'd contacted his aunt and uncle was that he didn't want them to see him like this. What if they were afraid of what he had become and act all weird while pretending everything's alright. He was okay with giving them a call and listening to aunt May tearing up, while telling him over and over again how happy and relieved they where to hear his voice and know he was alive. Peter promised to visit them as soon as he could. They were his family, the only one he got left after his parents car accident and he missed them a lot. He just didn't want them to be disappointed for not getting their human Peter back.

-

Classes were a welcomed distraction. Peter had been in 9th grade when he was kidnapped and missed almost a whole year through the captivity. Now he tried to catch up which wasn't too hard when it came to science related subjects but history was still awfully boring. He wanted to know what had happened last year while he was gone, not about taxation. Fortunately there's the internet so Peter googled the answer for every question that came to his mind, including the one that had bugged him since the first day he arrived. Who's Mr Red?

The answer to this particular question what he'd expected. The man he'd referred to as Mr Red was actually named Deadpool and if that 'title' didn't give away enough already the articles about him certainly did. It seemed absurd that the guy who'd saved him was the same mercenary who'd violently smashed a drug ring last week. Peter closed the tab after reading the fifth newspaper report because there's obviously a common theme. Deadpool targeted criminals, which wasn't a bad thing per se but killing someone crossed a hard line. 

-

Seasons changed and the humid summer turned into rainy autumn. Despite the weather Peter was excited and nervous. The mixture was pretty much 50/50. He's going to spend Thanksgiving with his aunt and uncle in Queens. They'd sent him the train tickets last month and would pick him up at the station. The calendar on his wall showed that there only a few days left and Peter had already packed his backpack. Hank had finished his contact lenses just in time and so far they're doing their job.

At first it had been a real challenge to get them onto his eyes. They were a lot bigger than usual lenses in order to cover his eyes completely only leaving a speck of black for the pupil. He quickly overcame the initial reluctance to...touch his eyeball but the problem was the reflex of his eyelid. He must look like a idiot during the process, an assumption which was confirmed by Hank's muffled laughter.

„It's harder than it looks!“, Peter muttered in his defense, holding his eye open with his thumb and forefinger while lightly applying the lens with his other forefinger and finally it stuck! Blinking a few times to let it slip properly into place Peter needed to get used to the new sensation. His eye was all teary and irritated from his previously failed attempts. Searching for a reflective surface Peter was curious to see what it looked like. Before his transformation he used to have brown eyes, nothing special that would attract any focus on them. Hank had offered him to choose a color and Peter decided to go with the same again. The lens covered his eye perfectly while the second one remained in its 'natural' state, looking even more wrong next to the other. Well at least he could put that look to good use on Halloween.

-

His aunt and uncle hadn't changed one bit. There were a few more crinkles around their eyes but he could see them lighten up when they saw him exit the train and Peter almost lost his bag when running towards them. Wrapping his arms around the both of them as much as possible they returned the hug, greeting him warmly. Finally he was back home. Peter's heart swelled with joy, something he hadn't experienced in a very long time.

„Let's get back before the turkey dries out~“, aunt May ushered them towards the parked car after a while and they spend the ride talking about school, rearranging Peter's room and the best ratio of gravy and mashed potatoes. The young mutant was glad they didn't ask straight away for what happened while he was gone or what his mutation was. They acted like he was still a normal 14 year old boy and for that Peter was very grateful.

Even before setting a foot into the house Peter noticed the decorations on the windows. They'd hung up those dumb looking turkeys he'd crafted when he was ten. They were made out of brown paper in the shape of his palm and fingers, latter colored in yellow and red with the thumb as turkey head. Why his aunt and uncle had kept them was beyond Peter but it somehow didn't fail to bring a smile to his face.

Inside everything smelled like food, making Peter's mouth water and his stomach give a quiet growling sound. Despite having had breakfast and a little snack on the train he felt hungry all over again.

„Seems like I made the right decision when going for the big bird~“, came the comment from his aunt who hung up her coat before leading them into the kitchen that also served as the dining room.

Peter went to bed that night with a full stomach and a warm sensation in his chest. He looked forward to moving back home permanently soon. He might have to redo his freshman year but depending on his grades he could skip one class in order to catch up. This night he didn't woke up from nightmares that'd sometimes plaguing him, sending him back to the place he'd escaped from.

-

Time went by in a flash, there were a lot of changes in Peter's life and for a long time he continued hiding his new powers instead of using them. The thought of becoming a hero didn't occur to him. Sure he'd seen the X-Men in person, read about the Avengers and various other heroes but there were many mutants who tried to live a normal live with normal jobs. Peter wanted to become a scientist like his parents and maybe someday work for a big company like Stark Industries or Oscorp.

The first of many incidents that led him on a different path occurred on a Monday afternoon in spring. Peter was leisurely rolling down the sidewalk on his skateboard, a Christmas present from his aunt and uncle. He'd picked up a carton of milk liked he'd been asked to and was on his way back home when his spider instinct tried to warn him of approaching danger. By a hair he managed to dodge a guy that pushed his way through the few people that got in his way. He was chased by a woman who's screaming for help and to stop the man who'd stole her purse. 

Without putting much thought into his actions Peter pushed his foot off the ground and darted forward tracking the man who's only a few feet in front of him. Jumping off his board he tackled the thief from behind and sent them both flying to the ground with Peter's fall getting more or less softened by the other's body. Admittedly this could have gone smoother but he managed to get his hands on the purse and clung to it before the guy could gather his wits and shove him off and bolted. Slowly sitting up Peter did a quick check up of his body and was satisfied to find that aside from a lightly scraped shin everything seemed to be fine. He didn't want to worry his aunt and uncle by coming home with broken bones.

„Oh my, are you alright, kid?“, the woman had finally caught up to him and knelt down to touch his shoulder.

„I'm fine. I guess this belong to you?“, he assured her with a light smile and held up the purse he'd captured.

„Yes, thank you so much! You're a real lionheart for attack someone twice your size and age...maybe you're gonna be a police officer one day. The city could definitely need some more, especially around this area.“

„I was just trying to help.“, Peter replied with a small shrug, feeling a bit flustered by the praises.

„Well you should get a reward.“, the woman claimed before seeking wallet and offering Peter a 20$ bill.

„What? No, you don't have to give me money!“

„It's alright, I'd have lost a lot more if you hadn't stopped that guy so get yourself something nice.“, she insisted and after a bit more back and forth Peter reluctantly accepted it. He'd just buy a second carton of milk since the other hadn't survived his little stunt and was now leaking onto the street.

„Thanks again, you're a real hero.“, the woman said her goodbye after they both got back up on their feet. That's the first time someone called him a hero. It seemed a bit over the top but Peter was happy he could help.

-

The event that truly inspired him to use the abilities he was given -even if not by choice- wasn't a situation where he'd helped somebody but when he felt helpless.

Helpless because he hadn't been there when his uncle might have needed him and because he wasn't a medic who knew how to treat bullet wounds. All he could do was sit in one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs had the hospital, clinging to his aunt's hand.

Peter was still mostly out of it his mind replaying the scene he'd witnessed over and over like a broken record. A stranger shooting at his uncle over a damn car key and in the end when Ben dropped it onto the ground he wouldn't even take it and start running instead. His vision started to get blurry once more and he briefly wondered if it was possible to cry out his lenses, although he doubted aunt May would notice his weird eyes right now. Her own were all reddened which didn't stop her from assuring him that his uncle would survive, that he was strong and Peter wanted to believe that with all of his heart.

After three hours of surgery a doctor came up to them and Peter felt his stomach drop. The man's face looked too gloomy for him to deliver any good news. So it was a real surprise when they're told that his uncle's condition was stable but he'd need to stay in the hospital for a few days. He'd been very lucky. One inch further right and the bullet would have gone straight trough his heart. Peter felt so relieved and happy he started to cry all over again.

-

The Avengers were founded to protect earth from alien invasions, terrorists and other evil superhumans. Therefor they didn't really find the time to protect individuals or small groups of people from immediate danger. That's the police job but they weren't be everywhere 24/7. Neither could Peter but he had certain abilities that might help making his city a bit safer. The first obstacle was finding a proper way to fight criminals without using an actual weapon. Punching them was an option but it seemed a bit...too straight forward and despite his enhanced reflexes and strength he wasn't a material artist by any means.

The solution for most problems already existed, nature's doing a pretty good job so you just had to find a way to copy it. It's something Peter realized during his biology and chemistry studies. Also by watching way too much Animal Planet. The show made him aware of the fact that ants were awfully cruel, especially to their own kind and that he could catch the bad guys with a web just like spiders did with their prey. Seriously why didn't he come up with the idea himself after already being half arachnid.

-

Learning how to move around with his recently created webs was easy in theory. Practically Peter pancaked himself against walls and windows during his first tries. Luckily he'd chosen an old, abandoned factory side as test area so no one could see him failing at the graceful air acrobatic training. This made him feel more like a fly getting smacked against a windshield than anything. With hurting ribs and a bruised ego the brunet sat down on a windowsill for a much needed break.

„This sucks.“, he stated his thoughts out loud to himself. It wasn't like he could ask someone for advice. He had to figure it out alone but the attempts so far had been kinda discouraging. Maybe he needed to take a step back and do some more research before he broke his face on a cinderblock. The way he was right now he wouldn't be helpful to anyone.

Peter made it home right for dinner where his aunt fussed over the scratches on his face that were left by the shards of the broken factory windows. They're only superficial and only stung when he grimaced. Not wanting to tell his guardians the truth but also being a bad liar Peter told them about places he's exploring. Just for fun like any other kid.

„If you're looking for an adventure you could try to get through the jungle in the backyard.“, his uncle suggested while helping himself to a serving of potato salad.

„Pulling weeds isn't exactly Indiana Jones movie material.“, Peter replied with a small huff. Of course he'd help Ben anyway since his uncle's back was lately causing him more trouble than usual. Not that he would admit it out loud but his pained expression sometimes was evidence enough. Gardening would only make it worse. Putting that duty on his mental to-do-list for tomorrow Peter spend the rest of his evening before bedtime by watching acrobatic videos on youtube.

At some point he was doing warm ups on the floor and following the yoga teachers instructions for taking in the warrior pose. Pushing one leg backwards he kept the other planted in front of him, knee bent in a 90 degree angle. Meanwhile his arms were stretched in opposite directions like he tried to touch the walls of his room. It seemed easy enough and only became difficult over time. He quickly figured out that it was because of the tension in his body he had to uphold. By the end of the video Peter shut his laptop and crawled into bed, feeling a lot more optimistic regarding his next swinging session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...this was more of a filling chap but I felt like it might be interesting to read a bit more about Peter's story since Wade's staying pretty much the same. Next time their will be some Spideypool interaction again! Stay tuned~


	3. Never be the same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shamelessly stole the chapter title from one of Camila Cabello's songs which you should listen to while reading the last part because the chorus is pretty on point. Also I'm super sorry this is such a short one but I'm an idiot sandwich who didn't plan the story ahead so now I have to improvise...and hope for the best.

Chasing after the human spider turned out a lot trickier than expected. Swinging via webs was a rather fast method of transport and despite Wade's best efforts he was left in the dust.

„Next time!!“, he threatened in between wheezing breaths, which made him sound more pathetic than actually threatening. Ungracefully planting his ass on the concrete of the rooftoop he was currently on the mercenary already came up with some alternatives regarding a second face-off with the newbie. Luckily heroes where all the same when it came to trouble. Their martyr brain directed them straight towards it to rescue and protect. Surely his little bug would be the same and if there wasn't an emergency available Wade could easily create one.

Despite his unsuccessful mission Wade granted himself a generous dinner if not to celebrate then to cheer him up. That's his reason for inhaling a big cup Ben & Jerrys cookie dough for dessert.

-

As it turned out creating a disaster wasn't necessary. Upon hearing about a bank robbery in Midtown on the police radio Wade got himself an Uber ride to the crime scene. The police had already surrounded the building when he arrived. Wade kept his distance, being a polite bystander on contrary to other intervening mutants. Now that wasn't exactly right because the mercanary highly enjoyed interrupting an intense fight with a surprise entrance. In this case he wanted to see how the new kid operated and if worse came to worst he could shoot a bullet or twenty.

In the end Spidey saved the day without his help but there hadn't been any real villains present, aside from Wade who's more of an anti-hero, so it wasn't thaaat impressive.Getting back into motion Wade followed his mark, this time well prepared with not just one but two grappling guns. Turns out he didn't actually had to chase the kid down. A few blocks away Webwonder landed on the roof of a three story building and waited for Deadpool to join him.

 

„Are you wearing one of those ass lifting undies? I won't judge, just asking for a friend. Y'know 'cause that ass looks kinda fake. Too good to be true.“

„Why would I do that?“ Peter was rather floored by the start of their conversation. He hadn't expected a normal greeting but this was extra weird. Did Deadpool just follow him to check out his backside? 

„Duh because they make your butt look better, obviously. Although I appreciate bubble butts as much as pancake butts.“

„Whatever, my ass is 100% organic and non-supported.“, came Spiderman's reply who'd turned around to face Deadpool and hopefully make him stop oogling his ass. Putting his hands on his hips Peter tried to radiate confidence instead of reflexivly taking a more defensive posture by crossing his arms.

„Prove it.“

„What? You want me to...moon you?“ Peter hated the way his voice cracked during the middle of the question. He needed a voice filter like yesterday to sound deeper and more even.

„Is your ass that pale?“

„Can we stop talking about my butt, please.“

„Fine. Faker.“

„You're ridiculous.“

„Hey you're the one wanting to hang out with me voluntarily. Also that sounds like a fat lie by the way so what's your ulterior motive, Websy? You wanna become my sidekick, Poolboy?", the mercenary asked curiously, tilting his head sideways while the white eyepatched stayed focused on Spider-Man's face. Beforehand he'd already taken in the fact that the other wasn't wearing any weapons aside from two small braclets wrapped around his wrists. Wade looked like a one-man army compared to him.

"No offense but full offense that's the most horrible sidekick name I've ever heard." 

"At least it's more creative than picking the most obvious one, Spidey~" 

Peter chose to ignore that unfortunately very accurate remark. Yet they weren’t here for some creative naming contest. He’s trying to talk business, so with his following statement he attempted to make his intentions more clear.

"I'm sure I can learn from you since you have probably like a decade of experience on me but-" 

"Did you just grandpazone me??" An offended gasp slightly stretched the lower part of Deadpool’s mask. That kid had zero respect for his elders. Well fuck that only meant they had something in common.

"How is that even a word? Anyway what I was going for...we'd be equals. I don't want to be handled like a kid.", he wanted to point out the first ground rule, lightly puffing out his chest in the process. Wade thought it made him appear like a little peacock. 

"Peachy! Not like I'd know how to be a proper guardian, I couldn't keep my tamagochi alive for more than three days. Rest in fucking pieces Archibald." 

"Very reassuring. So is this team up thing a deal then?", Peter voice got a hopeful undertone. This might turn out easier than expected.

„Meh~ I'm not really a team player, you'll only get in the way of by bullets.“ The young hero’s expression dropped at the mercenary’s words but he’s quick to come up with arguments. He’d made up a whole list with bullet points that counted the advantages of teaming up with him. Not that he’d mention it or had taken it with him. After looking at it for weeks he’d memories everything and was ready for the upcoming debate.

„I can dodge them and if we work together you might not need as much bullets. I can contain the bad guys.“, bug boy claimed confidentely while showing him his wrists were Wade supposed his webs were coming from. The voices and him still had a vivid discussion if they're organic or artificial. Also how many rounds he had before running out of fluids. Alright that sounded a bit more nsfw than intended, he was totally just trying to gather useful informations here!

[Then why are you crossing your fingers behind your back like a naughty grade-schooler?]

„Shut up.“, Wade hissed at the voice in his head, quickly bringing his hand back to rest on top of his gun holster. It was horribly overwhelming having to hold several conversations at once. Focus. He had to convince the kid that teaming up with him was the worst possible idea. Actually maybe he should just let him tag along to experience that realization first hand. 

„Alright, let's agree to disagree!“, Wade clapped his hands together as if they’d just found the perfect solution.

„That's not even a real compromise, Deadpool...“ Okay the mercenary was pretty sure he’d have herpes that was less persistent than Spidey. They might end up on this rooftop for hours discussing back and forth and the mere thought of that made Wade groan with frustration.

„How about this. I'll let you come along for my next mission as my personal armcandy. Then you can see for yourself how this-“, he interrupted himself to point at his chest and then Spiderman's face „is a bad romance.“

„It's purely work related, you aren't as charming as you might think.“

„Ouch, you better get me some ice for that burn.“

„Chocolate or vanilla?“

„I like that witty mouth of yours, maybe this will turn out to be fun after all.“

„I'm glad you're willing to give it a chance. So how are we gonna stay in contact?“

„Carrier pigeons. Their are tons of jobless ones around New York. Or you stand in front of a mirror at midnight chanting my name three times, no goat blood mandatory.“

„Or you could give me your phone number like any other person living in the 21st century would do.“, Peter suggested dryly, hoping that Deadpool actually used a phone. How else were his usual clients supposed to reach him? Well Peter had found out that Deadpool was still more or less a regular at Sister Margaret’s where he could also get his missions from. Yes he’d done his research and a fair bit of stalking for which he still felt kinda bad. Yet the mercenary was a real wildcard to him and he was already taking a risk by teaming up with him. He didn’t need any additional surprises.

„Boooring but I guess we could do that. No wait gimme your number, I don't wanna be the one desperately waiting for you to text me first.“ 

„Fine.“ Peter gave in without resistance waiting for Deadpool to fetch his mobile from one of his various pockets. Some burner phone with a cracked display and a few Hello Kitty stickers on the back. If Peter didn’t knew any better he’d assume it had been stolen from a child but as far as he was aware even 8-year-olds were carrying iPhones around these days. The brunet’s own mobile was a second hand but really sturdy. Once it was scraped by a bullet but so far still fully functioning.

Despite there being no reason for Peter to give Deadpool a fake number the mercenary called him as soon as he’d gotten it. Much to his embarrassment ‚Bad Blood’ by Taylor Swift started playing. That’s what he’s getting for spontaneausly cancelling his plans with Ned one too many times. Quickly silencing the mobile he pushed it back into the little pocket attached to his side. „Great, good talk just text me then.“, he inwardly cringed at his own words and was more than ready to make an exit.

„You make it sound like a booty call. Hey can you do a backflip?“

„Yes…why?“

„Just curious, smell you later Spidey!“

Peter usually wasn’t a show off but Deadpool’s question edged him on to do just that. He’d tried it before on his training grounds and was around 90% sure he could pull it off without faceplanting. Striding towards the edge of the rooftop he twisted around and flexed the muscles in his legs to push himself off the ground. He only managed to hold the mercenary’s gaze for a split second while he lifted his arms and pulled his knees towards his chest before flipping backwards and into a free fall. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins, heart pumping wildly in his chest when he unfolded himself mid air. Instead of staring at the ground that was coming closer in a dizzying speed Peter fixed his eyes on a nearby building. Aiming one hand towards the brown brick house he released a string of webs with a light pressure against the trigger of his web shooter and as soon as the sticky line went taut grabbed for it with his second hand as well. He soared upwards again with merely a few meters between him and the street, accidentally scaring a few passerby.

Wade’s initial surprise to Spider-Man’s stunt was quickly replaced by awe and a hint of something else he didn’t want to think about too much because honestly who the hell got turned on by backflips? Aerial acorbatic yes but then again there wasn’t a big difference between someone using silky fabric or…webs. He tried to channel some of the annoyance he’d felt before when Spidey talked him into their team up without success. Whatever, Deadpool was a professional and could totally handle a mission with this bendy noodle accompanying him.

[You have the attention span of a squirell on ecstasy even when going solo]

_He’s so gonna get shot in the head!_

„Thanks for the vote of confidence, assbutts“ Wade grumbled under his breath, averting his eyes from the spot Spider-Man had occupied a few moments ago. He briefly pondered to take the fastest way down, which the boxes approved noisly. Then again they wouldn’t have to be the ones cleaning his blood splattered suit. Therefor Deadpool chose the healthier option by using the fire escape. He’s slowly getting better at this, not always acting out on his suicidal urges. The new kid might become traumatisied if he got his head blew up right in front of him. That seemed to be a good reason as any for Wade not to get killed during their first joint mission. Being a lone hunter was enjoyable most of the time and as much as Wade wanted to convince himself that he didn’t need a partner the concept of having someone who got your back was kinda nice. Still he was unsure if Spidey was up for that challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a sucker for all those scenes in Spidey movies where he simply swings through NY like it's so aesthetically pleasing to watch, you feel me?? Well Wade does.


	4. Team Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight scenes are the reason why I need an eternity to finish this chapter. I’m not very good at writing them but you won’t improve if you don’t step out of your comfort zone so here goes nothing!

Peter couldn’t believe it. Deadpool had actually texted him for a real mission. Not just for a minor case like catching a parrot that had gotten away from his elderly owner. Something he’d done anyway, mostly because the disoriented bird flew right into his path. The perfect warm-up before kicking some drug dealer’s butt at least that’s how he interpreted the pill and syringe emoji followed by guns, knives and bombs. Peter just hoped the bombs wouldn’t be necessary. Structural damages were one of the main reasons not every citizen was a fan of their heroes.

They’re supposed to meet up near the docks and if he arrived half an hour too early it was just because he liked to prove that he’s reliable then so be it. This way he had some time to check out the various warehouses. Peeking through the windows it wasn’t hard to find the right one. The only place with the lights still on and a bunch of guys moving around a dozen crates, loading them into two small trucks.

„Think fast!“, a familiar voice prompted.

Peter’s Spidey senses warned him of the incoming projectile before he fully registered Deadpool’s warning. Luckily it wasn’t a bullet aimed at him but a lump of fabric that he caught out of reflex. Unfolding the clothing it turned out to be a white crop top with a self made design on it, which looked suspiciously like drawn with red and black sharpie. „HIT. Don’t shoot.“, the brunet read out the words beneath the X symbol aloud, slowly lowering the shirt with no intention to put it on. 

„Don’t get it wrong. HIT stands for hero in training!“

„I already have a suit and this isn’t exactly an update.“ No one would think that those three letters were an acronym but assume he wanted to get hit. Instead of throwing the top over his shoulder he balled it up in his hand and threw it back at Wade’s chest.

„You should listen to your elders. Maybe this way we can guilt trip them into going nice on you.“

„Yeah, I’m sure those drug dealers have a really soft spot for trainees.“

„Alright, Plan F. I’m going in first, you wait here until I’m giving the signal.“

„What signal?“

„I’m gonna imitate a moose roar. Unmistakable.“

„Okay. I’ve never heard or seen a moose.“

„How do you city kids even survive?“, Wade wanted to know, staring at the Web Wonder in bewilderment. Survival trips into the wilderness should be mandatory at school, not just during military training.

„Tutorials?“

„…just follow my lead and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.“

„That doesn’t really leave much limitation.“

„Sassy lil shit, ain’t ya?“

-

Everything went great.

That was until it turned out that the dealer squad included two cyborg guys who weren’t going down as easily as the rest of them. Several men had been webbed to the ground while the one with the robotic legs was still running freely, avoiding all of Spider-Man’s attempts to get a hold of him. Meanwhile, Deadpool kept the second one with the metal arm busy and simultaneously trying to detach the bothersome limb. Hey he played it cool on the murdering part but that didn’t mean a bit of maiming once in a blue moon. 

One of Wade’s bullets got deflected by the damn metal biceps instead hitting one of the nearby wooden crates. A white cloud erupted from the hole and his opponent deliberately backed away. It was a new, experimental drug accountable for the death of thirty people so far and still counting. Wade didn’t know how exactly it worked, but he’d seen pictures of the victims, which meant he was sure they did have a rather vicious effect.

„Gotcha!“, Spider-Man claimed triumphantly from his right, finally succeeding in immobilizing one of the dealer’s legs. Unfortunately he’d missed the other one. His Spidey sense warned him of the immediate danger, and he was about to flip backwards out of reach when a titanium feet kicked him right into the center of his chest. Peter was send flying but came to a sudden and painful stop when he crashed into a crate. Dazed by the impact he didn’t immediately realize that the reason his vision was sorta blurry wasn’t the effect of a concussion. He could still perceive his surrounding, through a white veil. His Spidey senses had skyrocketed, making his brain catch up with the fact that he’s currently sitting in a snowdrift out of drugs.

Peter scrubbed at his mask frantically, trying to get the glittery powder off his lenses. The rational part of his brain told him to hold his breath as long as possible since he didn’t know how the substance would affect him. His enhanced metabolism didn’t make him immune after all. Unfortunately his basic instinct to breath kicked in, making him inhale harshly. There was no filter system inside his suit because something like this hadn’t occurred before. Now that it was happening Peter inwardly cursed his past self for thinking a voice changer was more important. Coarse particles shouldn’t be able to go through the fabric but the powder was extra fine. Peter could feel it sticking to the back of his throat, making him cough fiercely.

„Oh fuck, you weren’t supposed to swallow!“

[That’s what he said]

‚Congrats you’ve drugged a kid’

„I’m calling bad luck.“

[That’s why we should keep Domino around]

‚Wish I could live in her head’

[Or even better her body]

‚That would be the jackpot’

„Now you sound just like the nasty brain parasites that you are. Hey, not Winter Soldier, eyes on me, I’m the main protagonist of this damn story!“ Wade had to interrupt his chitchat with White and Yellow in order to prevent that mechanically upgraded guy from blowing Spidey’s brains out.

„Why does everyone and their mum got a metal limb these days??“, he grumbled with an annoyed sigh while drawing another gun, putting the empty one back into the holster. It was still working, no reason to throw a good weapon away like they’re always doing it in the movies after using up all their ammo. Big bad’s attention was averting back to Deadpool and with it the aim of his slightly bigger gun. Not that he’s feeling envious, he just noticed.

„Are we having a real western showdown? Better bite the pillow because this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it’s gonna hurt me.“ Wade didn’t get the chance to take out Mr Cyborg all Lucky Luke style. Suddenly there’s a web, nailing the man to a container and making him stick there like post-it notes.

„And once again you’re finishing what I’ve started.“, Wade complained sullenly, shoving his gun back into the holster attached to his thigh. „I don’t feel so good.“, came the faint reply from the arachnid.

„Too soon, you’re triggering the readers. Don’t you dare dissolving on me, I’m not your father figure!“

„I think I’m high...and having internal bleeding“, Peter added after a brief pause, not even trying to make sense out of Wade’s confusing words.

„Sounds like a happy end to me. Oh wait, is that blood or…shit.“ The red fabric around Spider-Man’s mouth area had darkened, forming a growing blotch. „We have to get you out of the suit and decontaminated.“ Deadpool stated.

„It’s too late, the drug is going to kill him.“, one of the cyborg guys chipped in unhelpfully, struggling to get out his bonds.  
„No one asked for your opinion, Sharon!“

Peter’s muscles were tensing against his will and when Deadpool approached him to take a closer look and probably help him up. The younger one quickly flung himself sideways, crawling a few meters before he got back up on his feet by himself. The room was tilting heavily to the right and unintentionally Peter leaned the same way almost making him fall down again.  
„Stay back.“, he ordered Deadpool, tasting the distinct flavor of blood in his mouth. Were his lungs filling up with it as well? A sudden wave of panic seized him, turning his breathing more labored. How much time?

The boots of the mercenary sounded like nails on a chalkboard with every heavy step he took towards him, making Peter’s ears hurt. Were they bleeding too or was he just imagining things?

„I only wanna help, we’re the new dynamic duo, after all. Team Red!“

„No. You didn’t want me around-„ „Shouldn’t have tried…I just wanted to clear a dept.“, Peter mumbled, his head reeling. Fractured memories flashed before his eyes, a white room, an IV bag filled with dark liquid and then everything went blood-red.

„I have no idea what you’re talking about. The drugs are messing with your brain. I can get you to a hospital where they can help you.“ Like the distrustful, drugged guy Spider-Man was he decided to scurried away and escaped through one of the few windows the warehouse had, shattering the glass in the process. Wade didn’t know if he should follow him or if it was already too late. This was his fault, he shouldn’t have taken the kid on such a dangerous job with him. 

[You scared him off, wasn’t that the endgame to begin with?]

And in addition the minions would probably escape if he left now. Dammit, he’d just have to catch them another time. Killing was so much easier, he already started to hate his redemption arc.

Exiting the warehouse through the main entrance the mercenary followed the trail of blood drops outside his dear Spiderling had left behind. What an amateur mistake, he still had so much to learn from his Sith Lord. That’s if he were to survive the night. Luckily Wade quickly managed to catch up with the boy outside where he was stumbling around like a drunk sailor. On the bright side he’s still somewhat standing and his organs seemingly functioned as well. Carefully wrapping an arm around Spider-Man’s back Wade could feel him momentarily struggle against his support but quickly giving up to lean against his side instead.

„Let me help you. I know a guy, who’s on Santapools shitlist and therefor owes me a favor of two. He’s a doctor, I’m sure he can help.“

[Technically he’s a vet who got fired from his previous job for unethical procedures and this isn’t a flea stricken puppy, just saying]

„Ssssh, details! We’re all just mammals.“, Wade silenced the objections from the voices. The guys had his office ten blocks away, which was closer than any other hospital he was aware of.

_It’s probably already too late anyways._

Peter wanted to say something but his tongue seemed to be stuck to his palate, unwilling to move. The burden of making the final decision was taken from Spider-Man’s slim shoulders when he fainted, collapsing and would have hit the ground if it weren’t for Wade’s reflexes preventing him from doing so. Picking up the teen like a wet bag of flour he cradled him against his chest. Doing so with only one arm was a challenge, but he needed his other hand to make a grab for his mobile and call for backup. After, that they’d have to take a bath. The nasty kind without foam and lots of sewage instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've all seen the second Deadpool movie, which inspired me for the drug in the face scene and the other movie we're not talking about...

**Author's Note:**

> Next chap will be from Peter's POV, stay tuned!


End file.
